Brilliant quotes from Jerry Seinfield

Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
Jerry: I went out with you.
Elaine: That’s because my standards are too low.
The Fix-Up

Jerry: She had man hands.
Elaine: Man hands?
Jerry: The hands of a man. It’s like a creature out of Greek Mythology, I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast.
Elaine: Would you prefer it if she had no hands at all?
Jerry: Would she have hooks?
The Bizarro Jerry

Elaine: You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.
George: So what’s your point?
The Movie